* Saucy's real name is Phil
* Saucy has a beard
* Saucy scores more goals than Totty and Simon put together
* And he's got eye-brows
* Saucy is quicker than Carl Fallon
* Saucy is the only Sefton Rangers defender to have headed a ball in the last 8 years
* Saucy eats nearly as many pies as Jimmy Banks
* But not quite
* Saucy performs the world's smelliest bottom burps
* Saucy was the drunkest person at Andy's wedding
* Saucy is 23
* Saucy's wife is called Mrs Sauce
* Saucy's son is called Little Sauce
* Saucy's surname is, ironically, an anagram of 'wash'
* Saucy's favourite article of clothing is a jumper
* Saucy loves to drink beer
* Saucy was once half of a footballing brothers duo in the vein of the Greenhoffs or the Futchers
* The other half was Saucy's brother Andy
* Saucy owns several guitars
* Saucy will lend you one if you want
A Farewell To Sauce
Meet The Players
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